


Bad End: Grand Line Prologue

by Hiti67



Category: Naruto, One Piece
Genre: Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit, BAMF Uzumaki Naruto, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, F/M, Naruto Is Going To Kick Someone's Ass, Nico Robin Is Full Of Snark, Oblivious Uzumaki Naruto, Partners Of Chance, Pre-One Piece Canon, Robin Has PTSD, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Unimportant OC's - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 13:43:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13365936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiti67/pseuds/Hiti67
Summary: Takes place after 'Bad End'.Naruto has been summoned to another world by something called a Devil Fruit. Now he must find his way home with the mysterious Nico Robin as his only ally. But can he trust her when he has been so badly burned before?





	1. Bonding Through Casual Violence

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. One Piece belongs to Eiichiro Oda.

If there was one thing Naruto hated, it was surprises.

…or at least, surprises where he wasn't the surpriser…and being shunned by literally everyone around him…and traitors…and the three minutes it takes for ramen to cook…

Well, okay, there were a lot of things Naruto hated, but surprises were definitely in the top ten!

With this in mind it should come as no shock that, upon finding himself in a strange place with no memory of how he got there, he was less than happy.

Discretely scanning his surroundings, he found himself in a windowless room lit by a chandelier. The only door in sight, a heavy and solid piece of wood, was bolted shut. He could make out the muffled sounds of shouting, weapons clashing, and explosions from the other side.

Something told him that was the reason the door was shut in the first place.

The inside of the room was far more immediately interesting to him, however, as he found himself surrounded by over fifty heavily armed unknowns.

Most of them were lying in twisted heaps on the ground.

Naruto winced and hoped that they were dead for their sakes, those twisted necks looked painful.

Catching the reflection of a sword which was planted in the ground, Naruto saw that one of the two remaining unknowns was behind him. An older man in an outrageously flamboyant and expensive looking suit, clutching at an arm that appeared to have been wrenched completely out of its socket.

Naruto decided the man had got what was coming to him, anyone who wore a suit that ridiculous was just asking to get the crap kicked out of him. It didn't even have any orange!

The last unknown was in front of him. Like, directly in front of him. Maybe ten feet away. In fact, if Naruto was a betting man, he would say he had appeared directly between the flamboyantly dressed dandy-man and whoever this girl was.

And she was definitely a girl, because even Ino didn't have that much concentrated sexy in her, and this one looked like she wasn’t even trying! So yeah, absolutely female, because Naruto didn't want to think what that said about him if this was a guy.

Also, breasts.

She was taller than a lot of people he knew which was saying something since she didn't look more than a few years his senior. Her black hair and piercing blue eyes made a striking contrast with her sun-bronzed skin. She held herself with elegance and the deadly grace of an assassin, a mysterious aura which was augmented by her dark coat and heels.

In other words, she was smoking hot. Naruto kind of hoped he wouldn't have to beat the crap out of her, though knowing his luck she was probably sent from hell to ruin his life.

‘Hah! Too late, bitch! My best friend and my dad already beat you to it!’

Naruto stopped to consider that, and decided his life sucked.

“Mwi-hihihihi! You’re a fool if you think you can betray the Brutta Gang and live to tell about it, Nico Robin! It doesn't matter how strong you are, with the power of the Moshi-Moshi no Mi I can summon warriors and beasts from anywhere in existence to serve me! Now my pet, show this miserable sow her place at the feet of the mighty Three-Ring Bob!”

Naruto really didn't like any part of that monologue, and found himself cursing under his breath from the sensation of invisible 'claws' digging into his brain, screaming at him to attack the hot girl. The ass-clown that had apparently summoned him with some strange jutsu was now trying to manipulate him with an illusion or mental attack.

Unfortunately for Bob, Naruto was both familiar with these kinds of attacks and made of sterner stuff than most men.

So he lit him on fire.

As the now unimportant side character stopped, dropped, and rolled as if his life depended on it (which it did) Naruto turned to the sexy girl and raised a brow pointedly.

“So...you like ramen?”

The girl stood there wide eyed for several seconds before allowing a cool and somewhat guarded smile to stretch across her lips.

“I like it well enough.” She said with no small amount of humor.

Naruto crossed his arms and nodded. “Good. What’ya say we ditch this place and go grab a bite to eat.”

Just then the noise on the other side of the door became much louder and something began pounding on it with the clear intent of bashing its way inside.

“Sounds like a plan.”

Three minutes later, Commodore Dalmatian found himself standing in a windowless room filled with dead or dying criminals. Nico ‘Devil Child’ Robin was not among them.

“Sir,” a faceless mook reported, “we've searched this place from top to bottom. There's no sign of Nico Robin!”

With this news, the powerful marine stared into space in deep contemplation.

*Sigh* “Well shit.”


	2. Robin Becomes 'Miss Exposition'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robin and Naruto have ramen and talk.

As men in white and blue swarmed the streets, the focus of their search found herself seated next to a boy her age at an out of the way ramen stand.  
‘Huh,’ she thought, ‘I wonder if this is what a date is like?’  
Shaking herself from such frivolous musings (she was just stressed, she told herself, it had been a rather long and...strange day) she instead focused on the boy as he ate.  
After taking a moment to, well, loot from the Brutta Gang, the two of them had stealthily escaped from the former gang’s hideout through secret tunnels she had learned of during her time as a member.  
Upon reaching town, it had taken them less than a minute to realize that the Navy was practically invading the island in search of survivors (her). Instead of panicking or suggesting escape, however, the mysterious boy had simply walked straight into town at a leisurely pace, as if the white-clad Marines were no more worthy of attention than anyone else he passed.

Surprisingly, any Marine that passed him reacted in much the same way. Most only paying even a moment of attention to him due to his shockingly orange jacket.

Robin hadn't thought it possible to perform advanced stealth maneuvers in neon orange. Apparently she was wrong.

When asked what he was looking for in town, the blond had responded with a simple question that (though Robin did not know it at the time) would be the cause of many a headache over the course of their acquaintance : “I thought we were going for ramen?” 

And that was how Robin went on her first not-date: after betraying a criminal organization, snapping the necks of over fifty men, setting someone on fire, and getting chased by startlingly unobservant marines.

“…” she said as her head hit the counter.

“You ok?” Naruto questioned.

Without lifting her head, Robin turned to answer with a small half-grin and a rueful chuckle. “Fine, just…wondering how my life got this way.”

The blond simply stared blankly into space, his one eye gazing a thousand yards away. “I hear ya,” he responded in solidarity.

Suddenly, he shook himself as if from a bad dream. “Speaking of which, I have three questions for you.”

“Oh? Fire away then.” She responded with an amused smirk. He had been dragged who knows how far from his home because of her and had turned on his summoner rather than attack her. The least she could do was help him get reoriented.

“Thanks,” he said with a nod. “First, where am I?”

“Currently you are in the port town of Crystal Cove which is located on Red Rum, an Island on the Grand Line.”

“Where?”

Rather than clearing things up for the blond, Robin felt as if she had just confused him further. Not recognizing the town or island was hardly something noteworthy, even amongst sailors, but to show no recollection at the mention of the Grand Line meant he had either lost his memory or come from some truly backwater corner of the world. And since he didn't seem at all confused about anything else…

“…what Blue are you from?” She finally asked.

“Blue? What do colors have to do with anything? Is it like that Grand Line thingy? Cuz I've never been more than a few miles offshore from the mainland in my life. All this sea-speak is kinda over my head.” He finished apologetically.

Rather than be offended, however, Robin’s mind was slowly whirling, working the puzzle of the blond over in her head.

“Then what Island are you from?” She finally asked him.

“Island?” He frowned. “I'm not from an island lady. I told ya already, I'm from the mainland,” he said while pointing to the symbol on his headband, “Hi no Kuni, see?”

Suddenly, everything clicked into place. His skill, his strange abilities, even his unusual accent.

“You're from Wa no Kuni? In the New World?” She almost cried out, bringing her voice to a harsh whisper at the last second.

“Wa-? No, no, Hi,” he insisted, “ not Wa, Hi.”

“No,” Robin corrected, “ I mean your, er, mainland. Most people outside your country call you Wa no Kuni, due to how isolated you are. I'm a scholar though, so I know that you're actually a collection of independent nations which each have their own rulers.”

This time Naruto nodded in recognition. “Oh..okay then. How far away are we from, uh, Wa no Kuni then?”

Robin frowned slightly. “That depends,” she began, “all in all it would normally take half a year or so to reach from here. Unfortunately, between the natural hazards of the Grand Line and the obstacle presented by the Red Line itself, it is technically far more difficult to reach the New World. Even if you somehow found a ship heading in that direction, Wa no Kuni has a strict policy of isolationism. Only strong pirates and high ranking marines are both powerful enough to reach those shores and have a reason to head there in the first place.” Her frown deepened into a grimace.”For obvious reasons, neither of those groups would be willing to take you with them out of the goodness of their hearts.”

Naruto’s face was pinched in a very vulpine manner as he took in her words.

“Alright,” he said, “even if I understood everything you just said, which I don't, why wouldn't those Marine guys let me hitch a ride? They're, like, sea police or something, right? Isn't helping refugees their job?”

Robin scowled angrily. “It should be,” she told him, “unfortunately the Marines and the World Government are completely corrupt. Unless you have a pile of gold? Don't expect them to do their jobs.”

“World Government?”

Robin looked at him sharply before sighing in exasperation. “Right, isolationism, I forgot. Sorry.”

“What does that mean?” He said sounding offended.

Robin smiled tightly. “It means you probably don't know much about us, just like we don't know much about you. The World Government is where we are now. A collection of over one-hundred and seventy member nations which rule the vast majority of the world. The Navy, the Marines, are their primary military force. They patrol the seas and islands acting, as you said, like a police force. Unfortunately, the World Government is rotten to its core. The descendants of the original twenty kings who created the World Government call themselves Tenryuubito and run rampant over their own laws. They kill anyone they don't like and make slaves of anyone they do. In addition, the Five Elder Stars rule with an iron fist. If an island disobeys them? They destroy it. Completely. As in burn it and its people to ash and rewrite the maps so that it never existed in the first place.”

Robin was shaking now. The screams of her kin roaring in her ears along with the flames that claimed them. Her fist was clenched so tightly that her nails broke the skin of her palm. She forced herself to relax before continuing. “If you are expecting honor or decency, you'll have better luck with pirates.”

Naruto looked like someone had shoved a lemon in his mouth. “That fucking sucks. No wonder we decided to isolate ourselves. Hell, no wonder you guys call us the land of peace. At least our rulers try to rule responsibly…y’know, when we're not all trying to kill each other.”

Robin cracked a smile. “Oh? That's surprising. You aren't all that peaceful?” She asked rhetorically.

“Not at all.” Naruto said seriously. “A lot of those ‘independent nations’ you mentioned fucking hate each other. There have been three major wars in the last century and a half or so, and we barely avoided a fourth just two or three years back. I might not have payed much of attention in the academy but I picked up a lot from old men bitching about this stuff. Especially when it looked like that fourth war was heading our way.”

Now Robin looked confused. “I assumed there were disputes and foreign incursions, but full on wars? Why didn't the Shogun stop them?”

“Shogun?”

She rolled her eyes. “Wow, you really weren't kidding about your schooling. Even I know that the Shogun rules Wa no Kuni over the daimyo. And while I may be a scholar, your homeland is hardly my area of expertise.”

“Hey!” He scowled. “I may not have paid much attention but I ain't stupid! There's no Shogun or whatever where I’m from! The daimyo rule and that's it. If you live in a hidden village you obey the head-ninja. Everybody else obeys the daimyo.”

“What? No, that's not true!” She denied.

Naruto smirked in response. “Maybe your books don't know everything after all ‘Miss Scholar’. I think I know my own country a little better than some foreigner who died a hundred years ago.” He taunted.

Robin scowled, but it looked more like a pout. Naruto barked out a laugh.

“Whatever,” she sighed, “you said you had three questions right? I hope the next one doesn't take another half hour to explain. I'd like to be in bed before dawn.”

“Oi!”

Robin found herself chuckling slightly, which surprised her. It felt like ages since anything had made her laugh outside of schadenfreude.

Naruto scowled at her (like her’s, it looked more poutish) but chose to let the matter drop. “I just wanted to know how I got here. That guy said something about a mushy fruit?”

“The Moshi Moshi no Mi.”

“Yeah, that. What is it?”

Robin chuckled and crossed her arms. A moment later her dinner guest leapt from his stool as a second pair of arms sprouted from the counter and stole his bowl.

“Hey! That's my ramen!” Before he could leap at the ghostly limbs, however, they broke apart into flower petals, setting the bowl down as they faded. Another arm sprouted from his shoulder to gently caress his gobsmacked face in apology before also disappearing.

That schadenfreude? It was back.

Noticing how her eyes seemed to dance with mirth, Naruto frowned at her. “Was that your jutsu?”

“Not a jutsu,” Robin stated, “a Devil Fruit. I ate the Hana Hana no Mi, which gave me the ability to sprout my arms from any surface like a flower. ‘Three Ring’ Bob ate the Moshi Moshi no Mi which allowed him to summon you to fight for him.” Robin looked at him in contemplation. “You must be very strong, though. It’s usually impossible to resist even the secondary effects of a Devil Fruit.”

Naruto bashfully linked his fingers together behind his head, blushing. “I'm not that strong.” He said, totally implying that he was.

“You said something about hidden villages, and you pointed at your headband earlier to identify your home...”

‘Plus, jutsu was probably how you lit Bob on fire.’ She thought.

“…are you a ninja, perhaps?”

Naruto grinned proudly now. “Yep! The name’s Uzumaki Naruto, Chuunin of Konoha! I'm the baddest shinobi you'll ever meet!” He winked at her. “Please, no autographs.”

She smiled in amusement as he sat back down.

“So Devil Fruit give whoever eats them magic powers?” He asked as he finished his bowl.

“Essentially.”

“And what happens to them when the person who eats them dies?”

Robin blinked. “Um, they incarnate into another fruit somewhere else.” She said in confusion. “Why do you ask?”

In response, Naruto held a swirly fruit in front of her. “Because I found this thing in a fruit bowl on that jerk’s desk.”

Robin looked at the fruit in shock. “The Moshi Moshi no Mi?”

“I assume so. It wasn't there when I got there. When he stopped breathing though the fruit sort of…changed into this.”

“Huh.” Robin said. “That's interesting. Nobody really knows what happens to Devil Fruit that makes them come back. It makes sense if they just jump to the nearest fruit though. I wonder if this is why people say they have demons living in them? Well that and the whole ‘you explode of you eat two’ thing.”

Naruto very carefully held the fruit away from him.

“Explode?”

“Don't worry about it.” She assured him.

“So if I eat this thing do you think I could magic myself home?”

Robin frowned. “No, unfortunately. I never saw Bob send anything he summoned away, even when it would have been more convenient. You didn't see them but he had more than a dozen different animals fighting the Marines with his grunts. As far as I know they don't even disappear when they die, and they obviously don't go home when the ability user dies or else you wouldn't be here.”

“So this thing is useless?” He grimaced.

“Not necessarily. You can still eat it if you don't mind sinking like a hammer whenever you enter running water. If you don't want to give up swimming, though, you could always sell it. Devil Fruit are extremely rare and sell for exorbitant amounts of money. You would be surprised what a man would pay for ‘magic powers’.”

“Huh.” He said, looking at the fruit contemplatively. “Well that was actually my third question so I guess that's everything I want to know. Thanks for the help.” He said as he moved to exit the stand.

“You're welcome.” Robin answered honestly. The streets appeared to have calmed down now, so she prepared to sneak to an inn where she should be able to ride out the night.

Or at least, that was the plan until she walked into the shorter teen, almost falling on her butt as a result.

Looking at him in confusion she found him staring wide eyed at the sky, shock plain on his face. Wondering what could be so surprising to him she followed his gaze.

She blinked.

“Ah, a triple full moon! I don't think I've ever seen one in person.”

He turned to her.

“What.”

She looked at him quizzically. “Oh, sorry. I guess you get these all the time in the New World. Usually we only get a double full moon at most. Triples are rare out here and I don't think I've ever even heard of a quadruple south of Dressrosa.”

His eye twitched violently. “Why are you being so calm about this!? There are three goddamn moons in the sky!”  
She blinked.

“...what?”


End file.
